How To Support A Friend Who Might Be Struggling With An Eating Disorder:
Watching a friend struggle with an eating disorder can be heart-breaking. There can be an urge to gossip about it, watch her food, or shame her for it. While eating disorders are one of the most deadly of mental illnesses, it is often spoken about with a cavalier attitude or in a blaming tone. If your friend is struggling with an eating disorder, here are some ways you can help that do not come across as shaming:
Express concern without judgement
You can do this through statements that convey curiosity like, “I am noticing a change in you recently, is everything okay?”
Prioritize listening over talking. And if they do not want to talk, respect that, but continue to convey that you are there when they are ready.
Try not to comment on food or their body.
Comments like, “I wish I could eat like you” or “you have lost so much weight” might be well-intentioned, but they can cause shame or internalize pressure to maintain a size that might be unsustainable. Moreover, eating disorder show up differently on everyone, and it is more about the behaviors than the body.
Encourage professional support.
You cannot diagnose your friend, but you can notice if they have been more anxious, less social, and behaving differently around food. It is not your job to carry this on your own, but it is okay for you to gently bring up the idea of getting professional help. From there, you can trust that they are hopefully getting the appropriate care.
Again, whether or not they want to go, is up to them, but lightly suggesting it or bringing up the conversation might be the initial push to start exploring their options.
